Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
