i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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