I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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