I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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