I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
