6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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