I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
