We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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