Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
