He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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