Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
