If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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