I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
