we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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