ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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