apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
