just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I came so hard my ears popped.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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