Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
