i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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