I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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