You're completely useless in the revolution.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
