if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
