Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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