i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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