I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
