Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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