we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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