Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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