i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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