Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
