I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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