Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
