Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
