There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
