she looked like the before picture.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
