Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
