Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So vagazzling was a success
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
