it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize