Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize