And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I need water and some morals
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
