Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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