i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
