with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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