I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
