Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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