I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Even my vagina gasped.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
