I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
