he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
