totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
