the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
