I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize