Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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