You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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