he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
