I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
