you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just high enough for therapy.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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