he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
