Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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