How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
