She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize