Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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