You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize