He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize