Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
