you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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