i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
