the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
