I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
