I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
