Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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